Shared responsibility
  1. When I first found out he was breech, it really upset me, like I was really upset by the whole thing. I thought I’d sort of done something wrong or some, you know, things could have, I think I was really quite hung up on having a positive birth experience and it really bothered me. I didn’t feel it would be. But the minute I spoke to Niamh, I just felt so different. That’s sort of like, the relief I felt almost in knowing that I could have a positive experience. And I think that was a real turning point for me. (W100-B-VBB)
  2. I did feel a lot of guilt, initially, before Niamh, before having like done more research. I did feel a lot of guilt of like am I being selfish in planning a breech birth? Where it is just safer for me and the baby to plan a C-section? Because if it was to come down to it, they say that a lot of mistakes can be made from an unplanned C-section because of like, human error and stuff. And it’s like, am I putting myself and my baby in a position of it not being safe. And that was a lot of like, a burden to me until I did like meet with the breech team and discuss that. (W101-B-VBB)
  3. I don’t know why I feel hurt, but I think people don’t understand the amount of strength it takes to go against the norm. Like, when you’re faced with adversity, you really have to have a mantra of, I know what I’m doing is the right thing. I know I read the data. I read the statistics on it. I am like, competent enough to make this decision and stick by it. You really have to reinforce that because the system is telling you to have a caesarean. The system is telling you that you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing, and I’ve had to put so many people in awkward situations of house swapping, and you just have to really be strong. So even after you’ve done it, people – you just kind of feel like, oh, people don’t see how you see it, and that’s okay. And then you just – the moment’s gone, you don’t want to keep – you don’t want to preach about it, basically, so, yeah. It’s just, you really have to be quite strong when it’s just not the norm. Like anything, I guess. (W108-B-VBB)
  4. She, like, didn’t actually know any of the statistics, which was terrible, she was just like, It’s 10%, or what did she say – I think she was like, There’s no risk in a Caesarean. And she said, There’s 0 risk. And we were like, That’s complete – that’s not true. Like, you can’t say that. And she kind of made us feel like we were going to, I don’t know – like, do you want to take the risk with your baby by doing a breech vaginal delivery? And she made it sound, you know, as if it was kind of irresponsible of us to be doing that. (W103-A-VBB)
  5. The people that I spoke to when I got to the hospital, or like the person who did the scan, it’s kind of like – the sentiment was, Oh, you’re gonna have a Caesarean now because you have a breech baby. So had it – and I must say, also from like my family as well, like, Oh, you’ve got a breech baby, you must be having a Caesarean. So I did feel like, you kind of feel like, am I doing the wrong thing, because, like the institution of, like, the hospital and, like, your family, who you trust so much, like everyone’s, kind of, reaction was a bit, like, shocked that I was gonna have a normal birth even though my baby was breech … It was honestly, very, very emotional just because, you know, like, I am gonna – if something happens to my baby like, well I’ll never forgive myself, but then you could have a Caesarean and something could happen to your baby or you could have a normal birth and, you know, something could happen to your baby. (W103-A-VBB)
  6. I started to feel that I was being stubborn and maybe I was not doing the right thing for my baby a little bit … It was great but they were treating that as, I don’t know, as a red flag or something. And I was like, it’s not a red flag. (W104-B-EMCS)
  7. It was generally kind of family, and friends were kind of going, That is extra risky and are you quite sure and you do look quite big. And, you know, quite a lot of worry about it, I think. I think because it’s rare and has got some extra level of risk to it, that – yeah, so family and friends, I got a little bit of – and not you shouldn’t do that. But just, Are you sure about the decision you’re making? (W106-C-EMCS)
  8. And it was really reassuring to kind of hear that breech was just an alternative, like a new normal almost I guess, because I think, speaking to friends and relatives, when you mentioned it everyone just kind of goes, Ooh, you better have a C-section really. And for me, that wasn’t something I was overly keen on, especially already having another child. (W100-B-VBB)
  9. I think my mom was, like, a bit nervous before she knew. But then once she knew about, like, everything, once she kind of – she knew about Janet, she knew how good the team was– my mom she also trusts my judgement with these sort of things because she knows, like, as someone who wants to be a midwife like I really do, like, my research kind of thing. Yeah. So, like, basically, everyone trusted my judgement, and it was fine. (W109-A-VBB)
  10. Well, to be honest, I didn’t speak much about it with almost anyone, because I knew it would happen, and I didn’t want other opinions, especially opinions that were not scientifically based, that didn’t have certain knowledge involved in that. I spoke to my mother at some point, but she was okay with the information that I gave to her that I had at that point. But I kind of avoided speaking to too many people about it because I didn’t want to have negative opinions about this. I speak with my doula, I have a doula, and she was positive about it. My midwife was as well, she said it is, unfortunately, a few weeks ago, it wouldn’t be a possibility but it is now. And I also found a group on Facebook about women who had breeched babies, and many of them went for vaginal breech birth although not all of them. But many of them were successful, so it was good. (W114-A-EMCS)
  11. Yeah, so I felt incredibly well supported when I was choosing to have a vaginal breech birth. They were so knowledgeable and I think Ebony, you know, Ebony just – she made it feel like it was a possibility and a safe possibility. And the consultant [in the breech clinic], I can’t remember her name, which is awful, but she was lovely as well. Really knew what she was talking about. Could answer every question. (W106-C-EMCS)
  12. [CS] would never be my preference. I think having to build up that kind of relationship of trust with someone very quickly, is very difficult. So we had complete faith and complete trust in Ebony, and it would have been amazing had we needed labour care, if she was there. And it was really great that we could phone her when going into the hospital, I think, yeah that really made me feel relaxed and calm going in knowing that she was going to be there as well. (W112, C, VBB)
  13. And as soon as she came in, I just, everything was just like okay, there was a weight lifted because I knew that someone was, knew so much about breech birth, and that was her speciality, and she was there to help me. Rather than like having the normal midwives or even just the doctor who sort of didn’t really know what he was doing. (W101-B-VBB)
  14. I think, for me, the main thing is, was having, like, a key person who, on the team of the breech clinic. So for me, that was Janet. (W103-A-VBB)
  15. I would just contact Niamh because she’s leading up the team. Niamh is having other midwives train with her so that she would either come in and observe or she’d help out, but her goal there is to train the team, to not need her to be able to birth them anymore. (W108-B-VBB)
  16. I started looking into it around 34-35 weeks. I think when I joined the Facebook group and I could see a lot of people having positive experiences, and I also – I think I searched my hospital name in this Facebook group and I – that’s when I learned about like Janet and like she seemed to do some really good work. So I felt really encouraged that I was at a hospital where she was working because I felt like I was in good hands and I would feel comfortable like, giving birth with that sort of team around me. (W109-A-VBB)
  17. Yeah. I think because they were, like, so willing to, like, fulfil what I wanted to do, I guess because it was reasonable what I wanted as well, I felt like it was a safe option and I felt in good hands. They were very willing to listen to me instead of, I know in other trusts across the country, some people are like shut down with what they wanted to do. The team seemed to be very much on the same page as me, so that made me feel safe and encouraged. (W109-A-VBB)
  18. So the feeling was that if that it couldn’t be facilitated, then we would go ahead with the C-section because of the uncertainty as to whether other team members would respect our choices. So we knew Ebony would. But if Ebony wasn’t available, for whatever reason, or we arrived at the hospital and saw another midwife or other doctors before Ebony got there, were we going to kind of be bullied or coerced into making other choices or – not even necessarily coerced into making other choices but made to feel like we were making bad choices and and that would then make labour feel very stressful and make you know, in my opinion, labour much less likely to be successful. (W112-C-VBB)
  19. [The breech specialist midwife] was lovely. She was respecting all the time and before the labour. She helped me a lot with my decision, and she helped me with the hospital and the hospital actually said sorry to me because thanks to her, I felt pressure, but I didn’t know what to do. Just say no to the hospital. I didn’t know. I don’t want to do that. And thanks to her, the hospital decided to call another doctor. The doctors say, Sorry and they say they wanted to respect my decision. (W110-A-FBB)
  20. I was emailed a sheet before I went to the Breech Clinic about the what the service does and the – like it did on the sheet it did say about having a vaginal birth versus a caesarean. And there were the risks and the benefits on that on that sheet. So I was given a bit of information. But that wasn’t until probably week 36 probably 36. When I went to the Breech Clinic, And apart from that, I wasn’t, everyone whenever I went to my appointments they said, Oh, don’t worry, baby will turn baby turn like it wasn’t a big deal for them. Whereas for me, I felt like I was getting closer and closer, and baby wasn’t turning. And just because of my birth preferences, that was kind of stressing me out a bit. (W111-C-VBB)
  21. The only thing that really sticks in my mind and it has done ever since, is the kind of the attitude of the doctor. It was almost as if, like, Right you tried we’re going now. And like, he didn’t really want to even consider me having a natural birth. And that made me really upset, the fact that he was just like, Right we’re going now, you’ll be done within the hour. It was almost as if it was just a quick and easy way to do it. Like he didn’t really think about how I was feeling. So that was the only kind of I’d say the downside of it was like his attitude, but everyone else supporting me and was really good. (W111-C-VBB)
  22. She said that she had spoken to each member of staff, she actually mentioned each member of staff’s name. I didn’t obviously know who they were, but she said this lady has had experience before. This lady has worked with the breech team before. So she kind of went through each team member that she’s spoken to. And she gave me confidence that they were happy knowing what they were doing … I felt quite confident after she’d been away and spoken to them all. I think if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have felt as confident. But the fact that she came back to me and went through literally every member’s name and then said, this is what experience they’ve got that was really, like It was so useful, and it was really helpful. (W111-C-VBB)
  23. And then [the breech specialist midwife] went on annual leave for a couple of weeks, and we had a really difficult time with the foetal medicine unit at [the hospital] because they were really worried about the antibodies and basically told me I had to have a C section for [baby] being breech, because of the risk of brain injury, not being able to resuscitate him, etcetera. And this was kind of disguised or kind of justified as being worried about the antibodies. But yeah, basically had really awful, awful experience with the screening foetal medicine side of stuff, neonatal unit and then got back in touch with [the breech specialist midwife], who was on her annual leave, but kind of sent some emails, sorted this out for us and made it all a bit better. And then I think everybody realised they actually had to start being a bit nicer and start supporting our choice not to have a C-section. So because of okay and part of the breech project, I assume. Then it got to 41 weeks pregnant and we reluctantly agreed to have a C section, although Ebony was very clear that she would continue supporting us, whatever our choice was. But we just felt like it was going to be difficult to have a relaxed, normal physiological birth on the unit with that kind of background. So booked a C-section … (W112-C-VBB)